Top ten reasons Bullitt should not be remade

I read some disturbing news: Hollywood is thinking of remaking Bullitt, one of my all-time favourite films, and putting Brad Pitt into the Steve McQueen role.
   I don’t have much against remakes. I am looking forward to Life on Mars set in Los Angeles, unlike a lot of my Brit friends who have not been this aghast since the Germans bought Rolls-Royce. I even went to see 2003’s The Italian Job set in Los Angeles, and told my Brit friends, who had not been that aghast since the Germans bought Bentley.
   But Bullitt?
   I’ve nothing personal against Brad. I like the social causes the bloke is getting into. But even he must be smart enough to know that there will be a certain proportion of Earth’s male population who think that this is sacrilege. We are talking Holy Grail stuff here. And there are more reasons against this idea.

10. Most straight men (and let’s face it, most gay men) would prefer Daniel Craig in the role.
9. The bad guys will not look as menacing in a 2008 Dodge Charger.
8. You cannot re-create the scene where Jacqueline Bisset drives Steve McQueen back into the City on 101 because they would be stuck in gridlock.
7. Because of his personal interests, Brad would spend too much time filming the architects’ office scene.
6. The crew would be distracted when Angelina comes to visit on set.
5. Bullitt and Delgetti would be arrested as terror suspects at San Francisco Airport for leaving their car and running inside.
4. That annoying creaking sound heard on the soundtrack (it’s the noise of Steve McQueen turning in his grave).
3. ‘Hotel Daniels’ on Embarcadero is now the site of the HQ for the Gap, and it would be seriously bad publicity to kill the witness there.
2. The serious risk that Robert Vaughn’s character will be played by Tom Cruise as a Scientologist seeking respectability.
1. No dude who has worn a skirt (Troy) can replace Steve McQueen.